Asparagus Risotto with Slumlord.

Valentine's day is a romantic time to spend with your loved ones, together, as a mopey mass of drunks at Gus' Pub. I- for one- am glad we participated in the Hind Legs video release show last month on a full stomach. This is the sensual tale of how I seduced my band members and Ryan Smith with my very favorite: creamy, lemony asparagus risotto. Don't think we could have picked a more appetizing name for this dish...

Asparagus' Pub Risotto

1 cup of cheap white wine
4 cups chicken stock
1 1/2 cups dry aborio rice
1 small onion small diced
1 lemon zest and a little juice
lots of fresh grated parm
6-7 stalks trimmed, chopped asparagus
olive and canola oil- about 3 TB total


Warm the chicken stock to a simmer in a small pot. Heat the oil to medium- high in a large pot or frying pan, then saute the onion until golden brown. Add the rice and stir constantly to toast for about 3 minutes. Add the wine and lower the heat, allowing the rice to slowly absorb the liquid. Stir often, but not necessarily non-stop from this point on. Just enough to make sure the bottom isn't sticking and the rice is cooking evenly in general. Don't forget about it in a drunken rage! Add the warm stock a little at a time and the rice will gradually absorb it bit by bit. I didn't do that at all by the way, as I was impatient and added cold stock about a cup at a time (still waiting until most of the liquid had been absorbed before adding more) while I forced Tasha to stir. I'm a monster, and although our risotto turned out delicious, yours will be much better for having followed the official risotto rules.

Once you have just a quarter or so of your stock left, add the asparagus. Continue to incorporate all the stock, once the rice is creamy and only slightly crunchy to the taste, it's done. Remove from heat and dump a few handfuls of parm in, stirring until melted. Save some tasty parm to garnish each bowl of risotto. Add the zest and season with salt, pepper and lemon juice to your tastes. Proceed to have sex with whoever you made this for.

Thanks to the Vixens, Hind Legs, The Cannisters, Special Costello and all of my special Valentines. Next Slumjam we get freaky and make Christmas dinner for no reason.

-Sev