Pork & Beans with Slumlord.

This week we've tapped into the musical fruit itself for inspiration- I dug deep into my cupboards and pulled out a one pound bag of dry white pea beans. Baking up a batch of beans can be so satisfying, as they cost practically nothing to make (if you have the right stuff around the kitchen) and always seem to impress a hungry crowd. You may recall despising those canned, mushy sons of bitches with the little lard cube mixed in. Well, you really haven't had the real deal until you've made them yourself and come to the realization that the unassuming pot of beans is a delicious and complex dish. And they make you fart!

Don't think for a second we'd make beans without cornbread. I crossed my fingers and prayed to our Dark Lord that Tasha had the same thing in mind, and thankfully she arrived with cornbread AND a big old banana-peanut butter cake with chocolate sauce. Our guts were going to hate us more than they could ever imagine.

• Gobeil-Bread

1 1/2 cups cornmeal

2 1/2 cups milk

2 cups All Purpose flour

1 Tbsp Baking powder

1 tsp Salt

2/3 cups white sugar

2 Eggs

1/2 cups Vegetable oil

Pre-heat your oven to 400 F. Combine cornmeal with milk in a medium bowl & let mixture stand about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, grease up a 9 by 13 inch pan. 

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt- set aside. Add eggs to cornmeal & milk and stir to combine, then add this mixture to the dry ingredients. Stir just until smooth (over-mixing will ruin everything.)

Pour batter into the greasy pan and bake for 30-35 minutes. Stick a knife or toothpick in the centre of you loaf- if it comes out dry & clean it's ready for cooling. Makes about 15 slices.

• Peanut-Butter-Banana Cake (or cupcakes)

1 3/4 cups All Purpose flour

2 tsp Baking Powder

1/4 tsp Salt

1 cup Sugar

1/2 cup Softened butter

1/2 cup Peanut butter

1 cup mushed-up Banana

2 Eggs

Pre-heat oven to 350 F and line your pan with parchment(or, alternately, line a muffin tin for cupcakes). Whisk together the flour, baking powder & salt. In a separate bowl, cream together the sugar and butter until light and fluffy- put some elbow grease into it. Beat peanut butter into the creamy mixture then add the eggs one at a time, followed by banana.

If you have a mixer, add the dry flour mixture to above on a low speed until just combined. If not, stir in a little at a time with a wooden spoon. Pour into cake pan and bake for 16-18 minutes until you pass the toothpick test. Cool before frosting.

•    Chocolate Icing

1/4 cup Melted margarine

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/3 cup milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 1/2 cups icing sugar

                                          Mix it together already and pour all over everything.

I have to add that on this particular day, the sun was shining and I had procrastination running thick and hot through my veins. My brother Isaac invited me to Crystal Crescent beach and I pretty much threw that bag of beans against a wall and ran out the door. What a great time!!! But as I sat there with beer in hand and an ass-full of sand, I couldn't help but be haunted by the bean bag. I should have rinsed the beans and soaked them before I left- or preferably over night- in cold water. Shaking off my bean-demons, I vowed to make them anyway even if it meant cutting a few corners. I returned home from my day at the beach and quickly got the beans on the stove, before I even had the common decency to shower. 

• Pork & Beans (Musical Fruits of Procrastination and Compromise) 

2 cups White Beans

1 Onion chopped

5 slices Bacon, chopped

2 tsp Apple Cider Vinegar 

2 Tbsp Molasses

2 Tbsp Brown Sugar

1/2 cup tomato paste

1 Tbsp Mustard

1 Tbsp each of Paprika, Cumin and Summer Savory

1 tsp Nutmeg

2 cloves Garlic, chopped

2 Bay leaves

A 796 ml can of whole tomatoes

A splash of beer if you feel like it

Water

About 1/2 Kg of pig Sirloin, sliced

Chopped cilantro or any other herb mixture, for garnish

Rinse beans. Place in a large pot and cover generously with water. If you've remembered to soak them for at least 6 hours, then bring them to a boil and then lower heat and simmer for 30 minutes, drain, set aside and move onto the bacon. If you're me, boil vigorously for 45 minutes, strain, return to pot and cover with cold water once more. Bring them to a boil for a second time, but then lower heat to a simmer for about 20 minutes. 

Strain cooked beans, rinse lightly with cool water and set aside. In a large pot, fry bacon in a little oil until the fat starts to render. Add onions and cook on medium-high until brown and caramelized. Add the strained beans, tomato paste, garlic, paprika, nutmeg, cumin and stir constantly on high for 5 minutes. Add canned tomatoes (juice and all), followed by all remaining ingredients and a little water to cover, if necessary. Mix well and bring to a boil, then (you guessed it) lower heat to a simmer for about an hour and a half, stirring occasionally. Don't be afraid to mash everything up a bit while stirring; just don't burn your fingies, princess.

It's definitely ready when all the liquid is absorbed and the beans are tender. Finish with some coarse grind pepper, salt, and top with cilantro.

It was easy to get all those ingredients into the pot and then disappear into the jam room, emerging only to stir this one-pot-meal during smoke breaks. The beans were ready when we were, and the cornbread was perfect for sopping up what was way to hot to full-on cram into your mouth. Top it off with that devilishly moist PB-Banana cake drizzled with chocolatey goodness and we truly had a Jam to remember. I even called Isaac Hansen over to share the bounty. After all, he's basically our go-to graphic designer and doesn't ask for  much in return; just all the food he can eat. 

That's it for our second rockin' rollin' foodie update- could our next instalment feature human flesh!? A special thanks to Alison Lang from The Coast for promoting our blog and upcoming CD release party in the Scene & Heard section of last week's issue! And a very intimate thanks goes out to my Pastrami Mommy Chandra Bouchie for driving me to the beach. I'll be the Sea Witch to your Ariel any day.

- Sev